Are you best friends with your husband? Did you start your relationship as friends or did you quickly become best friends fast? This can sometimes be a sensitive topic as there are so many ways to view your relationship with your husband and some don’t think that being best friends with your husband is healthy for your relationship. But I don’t understand why being best friends with your spouse wouldn’t be your #RelationshipGoal. I think many marriages would be a lot healthier and more balanced if all wives (and I’m included in this) learned how to be best friends with your husband.
So let’s go back and think about your best friends. Have you ever been asked? If you have, then who do you think of? Do you think of your husband or do you think of your elementary school friend, college friend, adult friend? I believe that you can have more than one best friend but I also believe that I build work life balance in my relationship by making friendship a priority with my husband…and it’s easy to do and it works!
My best ‘girl friend’ and I have been friends since early college. We instantly clicked and have this crazy connection and understanding with each other…no judgements on any topic. We don’t live physically close to each other anymore but that hasn’t changed our relationship. We can text and pick up the phone and be exactly where we were when we were freshman in college! This is a long-time relationship and I would imagine that we will be friends like this until we are really old mostly because we have built a relationship of trust and freedom in speak/share/advise each other about our deepest thoughts and feelings. I feel very fortunate to be able to have this type of connection as I keep my true friend circle pretty close and it is difficult to find those real true friends. I also have a few closer friends that live near me that I have that easy friendship connection that I love and admire dearly, but when it really comes down to it, I am no truer to myself than I am with my husband.
How To Be Best Friends With Your Husband
When my husband and I met, we had that instant connection that started as easy friends and quickly turned into a true relationship. As we have grown together over the years through marriage, personal illness and having a baby we have become even closer and have this incredible openness and understanding with each other that leaves no topic uncovered. Read: Find Life Balance in your Marriage with your Husband
Friendship was the foundation of our relationship, so it only makes sense that we made friendship a priority in our marriage to make it stronger. So how have did we build balance and develop a true friendship in our relationship? We have a few relationship/friendship rules that we both follow and work hard to preserve.
- We enjoy spending time together and seek out that time as much as we can around our crazy schedules.
- We always speak positively about each other to others- people only ever remember the times that you speak badly so it’s important to preserve any minor conflict while you work through it.
- We are always the first conversations with each other about good news or bad…
- We center our marriage around love, inside jokes and just plain silly things that make us laugh until we cry.
- We turn to each other to bring each other up when we are feeling low because we know what changes in our mood looks like and what we need to feel better.
- We enjoy trips together and doing our favorite thing…eating at great restraints.
- We fiercely protect each others backs when needed…we would defend each other to the end.
- We respect each other enjoying girl or guy time with our group of friends without the need to be clingy.
Growing and maintaining a close friendship in your marriage is not easy, especially as a working woman. It takes time, persistence, patience and some challenges to overcome. I learned that in order to build my work life balance with my husband, I had to learn how to communicate my thoughts and feelings and ask for help when I needed it. Read: Find Balance: 50 Ways to Date your Husband
As your relationship grows, you learn so much about each other and can each respect the time that you spend together and apart. Many times, couples can grow complacent in their friendship and start to forget the important safeguards of being best friends with your husband. I have seen women put down their husbands and complain about having to spend time together as well as men that have mocked their wives and make judgements on decisions that they made. These are things that we wouldn’t do with our best friends, but yet sometimes that same value is not honored in marriage?How much more should we respect the person we choose to marry compared to our best friend?
I do believe wholeheartedly that work life balance can be built by focusing on relationships. If you have a partner in life, you have to learn how to use each other to find balance without being overwhelmed. I encourage anyone to work on learning how to be best friends with your husband and continuing to build that foundation of trust and respect. Let me know about your #relationshipgoals in the comments!