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7 Things Researchers Know About the Science of Long-Lasting Love


This article, 7 Things Researchers Know About the Science of Long-Lasting Love, by Jennifer Abassi on Happify Daily, brings home a little science and research about long lasting love…it does exist! Successful relationships take work, take practice and take time. Enjoy the highlights below and check out the full article link at the bottom.

The oft-quoted statistic that roughly half of all marriages end in divorce may leave you wondering if love that lasts a lifetime is simply a myth. Take heart: A recent study found that a surprising number of people are still very much in love with their partners after 20 years of marriage. In fact, brain scans of people in happy long-term relationships show the same activation in areas associated with reward, motivation and “wanting” as those experiencing new love. Even better, long-term romantic love (unlike new love) stimulates regions of the brain that quell anxiety and pain. This suggests that well-worn romantic love offers a unique combination of benefits: happiness—plus a sense of calmness.

Now that we know that falling out of love isn’t inevitable (hallelujah!), let’s get inspired to strive for long-lasting love. Here’s what science tells us are the secrets to living happily ever after:

Be Five Times Nicer Than You Are Nasty

For every unhappy exchange, we need at least five happy ones to nourish love, says relationship expert John Gottman, Ph.D. According to his research, relationships are stable and happy when the ratio of positive to negative interactions is at least 5:1.Do Your Share of the Dishes…

Watch Your Words

Most of us know that communication is key to a successful relationship—even if we’re not so good at it. One trick: Use more “couple-focused” pronouns, like “we,” “our” and “us” when you’re having a conflict with your significant other…

Go on an Adventure

If your routine feels more like a rut—the same old restaurants, the same old TV shows—it’s time to mix things up and have some fun. Couples that play together stay together, according to Stony Brook University researcher Arthur Aron, Ph.D…

Don’t Break Up With Your Friends

Too much togetherness can actually be harmful because it puts too much of a burden on the relationship, says Stephanie Coontz, a professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College and author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage. The takeaway: Pursuing friendships, support and interests outside your twosome will actually help keep you together…

Do the Standing Tiger / Crouching Dragon

There’s plenty of research showing that sexual satisfaction promotes marital stability and decreases the likelihood of divorce. Although it probably wouldn’t hurt, this doesn’t mean you have to have more sex: A 2011 study found that more experimentation (think: new positions and locations), more talking about sex and more “making out” increases sexual satisfaction—for both men and women…

Pay Attention!

Start paying more attention to things that matter to your partner: the names of their colleagues and cousins, your anniversary date and their food preferences, for example. Partners that remember these types of details about each other tend to be highly satisfied in their relationships, according to a 2013 study in the Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy

What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments!

Full Article Here:

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